Souvenirs

I have most of my souvenir shopping done. I've tried my best to buy consumable things, because most people won't know what to do with a kilt-decoration for Scotch bottles or a Holyrood Palace snow globe.

I think, the best souvenir I bought for myself is the twenty Edinburgh Fringe shows I saw. Second behind that is two amber necklaces, dark chocolate KitKat bars (Mmmm), and I've yet to buy a houndstooth paperboy hat...

The Impossible

They found my keys! On the last possible day I could possibly return my work keys...someone turned them in to my building's receptionist.

That was the start to what is turning out to be a wonderful last day of working at Heriot-Watt.

Missing Edinburgh

I woke up this morning and went out the door. As usual, what I least want to be affronted with at nine in the morning is the smell of hops and barley, but that's Edinburgh for ya. In the morning, in the evening, in the middle of the night, you will get the occasional overpowering scent of one of the two breweries in the city.

It's not so bad, really. I'm going to miss it.

I'm also going to miss walking into one of the several used bookstores around the corner from me. All Edinburgh bookstores are made up of half newer books which means I can buy Catch-22 for £2.50. The other half of the shop is made up of leather-bound Victorian books with gold-lettering and etched illustrations on the inside. Children's books, poetry compilations, novels, they are gorgeous.

I'm going to miss live music in the pubs. There's nothing like sitting in a very Scottish pub, listening to renditions of "Tequila" or bagpipe music pumped with a bellows.

I'm going to miss ambling back to my flat at two in the morning, passing the castle, St. Giles' Cathedral, Greyfriar's Bobby, and assorted wonderfully historic sites. I am so jaded.

And being stared at in pubs, for knitting! This past evening, our normal location was closed so we went to the Oz Bar, where people photographed us, but at least the bartender was really nice.

I'm going to miss Americans standing on Grassmarket, with their gaze set on the fireworks above the castle emitting very loud "Oooohs" and "Ahhhhs".

I'll miss kilt shops. I've never been in one, but their existence is slightly amusing.

Then there's the double-decker buses, with their greenhouse-like upper level, peering down at people boarding the bus. The way the bus inflates and deflates itself with air.

I'll miss calling things "lochs" instead of lakes, "wee" instead of little, "aye" instead of yes, "crisps" instead of chips, ordering my beers in pints and half-pints, thinking in Celsius, Roast Chicken flavored crisps, A4-sized paper, dual monitors at work, wearing three coats in the middle of August...

And this is what we talk about at goodbye dinners.

Cheers!

Glasgow

I had a busy day today.

Thomas and I arrived in Glasgow (pronounced "glesca", the faster you say, the less people will notice you're pronouncing it incorrectly) at 10:30am by train, and then proceeded to walk about Glasgow. It didn't take long before we realized it really isn't a town for tourists, but instead, a town for shoppers.


We took Lonely Planet's recommended walking tour, that just took us past a bunch of historical buildings that have now been turned into bars, luxury flats, factories, etc. We saw a Scottish funeral, visited the cathedral, wandered through the necropolis, etc. etc.


I was lazy, and let Thomas do the navigating so I really had no idea where we were at any given point during the day. But when we ran out of places to see, I suggested the Willow Tearooms, which were designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh (an Art-Nouveau architect/designer from the early 1900s), and we followed that up with a visit to the Lighthouse, another design by Mackintosh.

The view of Glasgow from the Lighthouse's former watertower.

The way down.

We headed back to Edinburgh and saw Hallam Foe at Cineworld (the place where popcorn costs £4! Only 30p less than a student ticket!). The movie was almost entirely filmed in Edinburgh, so it was cool to be able to identify all the buildings. We ended that night at the Whiski pub which was open surprisingly late. It was entertaining to watch the Hen Party behind us cause all sorts of drama with the management and bar staff.

Monday Review

Stewart Lee - 41st Best Standup Ever! Apparently "March of the Penguins" (a documentary about penguins showing how they make monogamous pairings and each couple carefull raises the young) was jumped upon by Born-Agains as evidence that God wants us to be good, because the penguins are. Stewart Lee wanted to call his show "March of the Mallards", since they're the only animal that reproduces by "gang rape", and are also the only animal to have been caught on tape by scientists performing acts of homosexual necrophilia. Clearly, evidence that God wants us to be evil.

The rest of his show was less entertaining and more repetitive. Typical stand-up.

Sarah Kendall Alternative comedy. A story about how the main performer was almost kidnapped by the Backpacker Murderers in the Belangalo State Forest. It was pretty funny.

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And that's the end of the Fringe! Walking around on Monday night, the streets were empty. It was like nothing had ever happened. Temporary cafes being disassembled, large video screens being taken down, and posters falling off their surfaces. It's kind of sad. My vacation is coming to an end...Now all that's left is fireworks on the 2nd.

Weekend Review 2

Sunday

A History of Scotland (in 60 minutes or less) A good children's show. Didn't really introduce me to any Scottish history I didn't already know, but it was entertaining.
Yamato Chanbara - The Legend of the Sword A Japaense sword-play story interspersed with peace signs and lots of cheesy faces. Nonetheless, it was kinda fun to watch the actors time their sword movements to the pre-recorded sound effects.
Ca$h in Christ Inspired by many Evangelical Churches (mainly the Hillsong Church). I think its major point was to make people afraid of Americans and Evangelicals. Did you know a large chunk of the population in the 'States believe that Jesus will return in the next 50 years?

Saturday

I caught the Saturday-night fireworks again. There should be really big ones on the 2nd of September.
Will Adamsdale: The Human Computer Alternative comedy. Just kind of crazy. The man turns himself into a human computer by using cardboard props and pretending to be the running applications. Not really recommended.
Nina Conti: Complete and Utter Conti More alternative comedy. This one being a ventriloquist. It was really funny.

Friday

We went to the half-price hut and snatched two tickets for half their normal cost. It was pretty sweet.
The Florists Mediocre play.
Potato: A Show That Will Save the World A man with a...9pm shadow dressed in a women's silk nighty walks on to the stage, "Let me tell you about manners. When someone sneezes, like, 'Atch. Oo.' you do nothing. You pretend it didn't happen. Like so. Atch. Ooo. *blank face*." And then, Osama Bin Laden is carried onto the floor by a wheelbarrow, giving a Johnny Walker promotion. Incredibly random humor, but very good. What you expect from the Fringe.

To Do

I'm beginning to feel stretched a bit thinly. I only have two weeks left, and in the meantime, I must finish/clean up work, see more Fringe shows, write an extended abstract for OurCS, organize the trip to OurCS for WiCS, begin pondering the startup of a Drexel ACM-W branch, see Edinburgh Castle, Visit Holyrood Palace, and go souvenir shopping. Too. Much. Stuff. To. Do.

Ceilidh

I was invited to a Ceilidh (KAY-lee) organized by the English tutors at Heriot-Watt.

One of the girls at pub-knitting told me that there's two kinds of Ceilidhs: One, the tame fundraiser-type Ceilidhs, and the other, drunken Ceilidhs. This one was mostly the first type, but with some random confusion thrown in for good measure.

It was a lot of fun, and now I'm exhausted.

Can I briefly talk to you about the point of life?

I saw Mark Watson: Can I briefly talk to you about the point of life? last night at 11pm (it was a bonus show). Between it being his 4th gig of the day, the late hour, his collapsed lung, and a terrible bout of hiccups...he looked like death. He has really good reviews, I expected better, but as I said, he didn't look too healthy. That could be an excuse.

He looked familiar. I believe I've seen him on TV on Mock the Week. [edit: I know I've seen him on "Mock the Week"]

Weekend Review

Friday

Adam Hills: Joymonger Standup comedian from Australia. The best show I've seen so far.

Saturday

Hotel World A play about the death of a hotel worker and how it affects everyone else around her. It's performed by a group of six 14-18 year olds from London. It was good.
Auto Auto Two Germans beat a Vauxhall Astra Mk2 to pieces, shattering the windows turning the roof into a singing saw, etc. They use hammers and their fists to pound beats against the cars as they sing songs from just about everywhere. Entertaining.
Astronomy for Insects Weird as hell, and definitely freaky. It lasted twice as long as it should have, but if it were 45 minutes long instead of 1.15, it would have been excellent, but funky. I definitely didn't catch a transition between the "passageways to other universes" and Santa Claus. But that's what you get from Russian physical theatre.

Sunday

Escaping Hamlet I read a review that described it as "camp", and that's the truest description I can come up with. Hamlet wants to become an actor...some random actress jumped on the laps of the people in the front row. I really don't know why. And the stage and costumes seemed to emit some sort of bad funk.
Andrew Maxwell - Waxin' A fairly popular Irish stand up comedian. He was decent.

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The Udderbelly venue is a giant purple tent that looks like an upside down cow.

Jihad: The Musical

So, last night, on a bit of a whim, I dragged myself to the C and saw Jihad:The Musical.

Things of "note":
"We Jalalalalalalalala-love you!"
"I wanna be like Osama B and be Islamically renowned"
cast members traipsing about in pink-sequined burqas

I say this often, but with scenes like that, how could it not be good?! There were Afghani stereotypes, French stereotypes, American stereotypes. It was amazing and most definitely not PC. Not bad. Just...different.

The Fringe this week

Two comedians: Adam Hills and Andrew Maxwell. One play, Hotel World.

And of course, one weird-ass show:
Astronomy for Insects: Moscow's Fringe First, Total Theatre award-winning 'Alien Circus' blackSKYwhite troupe present a show about passageways into worlds that are other than human and those secret parts of Santa's trip on Christmas Eve. 'Poignant, terrifying, exhilarating' Guardian.

I have some difficulty convincing people that The Fringe isn't about seeing world-class productions. It's about seeing undiscovered artists and funky stuff you can't find back home. *ahem*. lol

Crisps

Iris: I'd like a glass of water and some ...uh. Crisps. Yeah.
Bartender: Tap water, and what flavor crisps?
Iris: Flavor? Uh. Normal? Plain? Those there. *points*

My flatmate tells me I should've asked for "ready-salted", apparently the equivalent of "normal" potato chips. This language barrier makes things exciting.

Shows, Shows, and More Shows

Macbeth: Who is that Bloodied Man? was good. I think if I had read the play I would've known what was actually going on, instead of being solely amused by the stilts, fire, rolling lawn mower of beheaded ..heads, and the added bonus of motorbikes. Yeah. It was strange.

Best of Scottish Comedy was a typical stand-up comedy club/show, except everyone talked so fast I barely understood them half the time. Additionally, they had "standing room only". More amusing was the guy dressed up in a penguin costume all day (Stag party).

I was home around midnight to catch the fireworks over Edinburgh Castle from the window in my hallway:

Insomnia

It's 3:30am and I'm not even a little tired, despite trying to sleep for the past four hours.

And what do I do with this newfound chunk of time my insomnia has given me? I read through the Edinburgh Fringe guide, and take photos of boring things. Like, this ad from the catalogue:

The bottom reads, "Only Scientology can save you now!"

Friday I'm going to get some pizza (which I could kill for) and see this show. Anything that involves Shakespeare, stilts, and fire is a classic, for sure. Saturday evening I'll be going to see Best of Scottish Comedy. What's next? The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain? The best Eagles tribute ever? A Yiddish cabaret?!

I dunno, but I'm wondering if "Camille" is the same French artist I listen to back home...despite her being labeled as Irish. lol. [edit: the answer is "no".]

Edinburgh Festivals

Well, the Edinburgh Festivals have begun. The Military Tattoo and the parade outside my window Saturday morning pretty much marked the start of it.

I saw Kristen Schaal last night. It was okay. Not really that funny. So maybe it was a little less than "okay".

Military Tattoo

What's that? Taiwanese girls in gogo boots standing next to American colonialists...standing next to the only steel drum military band in the world?

If that doesn't sound like fun, I don't know what does. Oh, wait. I forgot:

How could I forget playing trombone while riding a horse?!

Needless to say, I just returned from a very awesome (and very half price) Military Tattoo "Preview". By "Preview" it means we get to see all the media photographers get trampled by a Russian military band doing seemingly random marching sets. It was so great.

International Students Trip

Who says Thursday can't be a little fun?

I ended up in Dunkeld again. So I crossed the bridge over the River Tay and ended up in Birnam (as in Beatrix Potter's childhood vacation home...or "Birnam Woods" from Macbeth). I had to cover my ears as Fiona revealed the plot to Macbeth. I really should become literate again. Anyways. Photos.


Blair Castle with a wee piper.

Blair Castle without the piper (and generally a fuller view).

The Falls of Bruar. Slowly becoming commercialized...the ice cream is okay.

And last, Edradour Distillery. The smallest whisky distillery in Scotland.

Isle of Skye Trip

Friday

I knew the trip was starting off well, when I saw a rainbow on my way down the hallway on my flat (photo is darkened so that maybe you can actually see the rainbow):

From here on, I'll just list photos/things we saw.


A monument to William Wallace, built sometime in the late 1800s. The guides spent a fair amount of time dispelling lies from "Braveheart".


The view from atop the Wallace monument, supposedly you can see seven battle grounds. We had only 15 minutes here, but Thomas and I decided to climb the 67m up anyways


Next up was Hamish, the highlander cow (or "hairy coo"). Apparently voted sexiest animal of 2007 (some ingredient from the cow's horn is used in Viagra...)


Next up was Glencoe (Gaelic for "Valley of Tears" due to the numerous waterfalls)


Glencoe is the site where the Campbell Clan broke the Highlander hospitality rules, and killed the MacDonalds who were their hosts on February 13, 1692. Campbells are still generally disliked in this region.


We stayed at Fort Augustus on the shores of Loch Ness both nights. This photo is of the ferry that gives one hour tours of Loch Ness, along with sonar images taken from the bottom.


The boat departs at 8pm...


But tonight happened to be the date of the monthly Loch Ness "Booze Cruise". 4 hours of live music and ferrying around Loch Ness. Once you get on...you can't get off the boat. Our guides noted how dressed up the locals weree; this monthly booze cruise appears to be the event of the month.


The turn around point was Urquhart Castle (above).

Saturday

Saturday started off with another rainbow, seen here over a loch.




We even got to see the end of the rainbow! It was the brightest rainbow I've ever seen.


Next was Eilean Donan Castle, rebuilt in 1932.


"The money shot" of Eilean Donan Castle. It appeared in a James Bond film, and was the scene of the "Highlander" movie.




Then we stopped by a stream that supposedly makes you beautiful, so half the bus stuck their face into it. There was a story associated with it, how a beautiful young Highlander clan princess was to marry a clan prince. When she was rushing to her wedding her horse slipped and she slammed her face into some rocks, losing her eye. When the prince saw how ugly she had become, he determined it was some sort of treason, and he killed her attendants. Somehow everything became right when she put her face into the water.


We stopped for lunch in the fishing village of Portree.


Then we walked up Fairy Falls, which is called Fairy Falls because anyone who does not believe in fairies falls on their way down. It was very slippery (all grass and water).


The Old Man of Storr once was an old giant and his wife. The old woman became too old to climb to the top of the mountain and gossip with her husband. When the fairies found out, they turned them both to stone. The Old Woman (which fell a few years ago) had a weak hip, which lead to her crumbling. Now all that's left is the Old Man.


Kilt Rock (the formation in the back) is so named because it looks like a kilt. An Irish giant tried to woo a Scottish giant-ess, but when he found out that she had a husband, he decided to fight the husband. The giant-ess had her husband take the place of a giant baby, and hung a giant kilt up to dry so as to make the Irish giant think her husband was much larger than he. It worked, and the Irish giant tore up the bridge he had built and never came back.


We stopped at a Dynamite mine, which was very pretty.




Sheep scaling the edges of the cliff at the Dynamite mine.


The way back. Straight up.


Pretty scenery on the way back to the hostel.


A shot of one of the locks on the Caledonian Canal back at Fort Augustus.


The canal at Fort Augustus links Loch Ness with Loch Oich.

Sunday

Another view of Urquhart Castle.


The moors at Culloden where Bonnie Prince Charlie and his Highlander troops were massacred by British troops.


4,000 year old Burial Cairns made of rocks from 25 miles away.


The last stop was at the Cathedral at Dunkeld where I bought myself some honeycomb ice cream and butter tablet (which is like butter flavored fudge. Sort of.)




The Cathedral is on the banks of the River Tay, pictured above.

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All in all a good but exhausting trip...and despite spending two nights right next to it, I know absolutely nothing about Loch Ness, lol.

That Weekend

I think this quote from my Haggis Adventures tour guides pretty much sums up my weekend:
R: "Well, you know. Eilean Donan Castle. It's on that Times' list: 'Top 50 things to do before you die.' It's like for-ee three or some'in'. "
G: "Number one is of course to 'Visit Scotland'. And number twen-ee is 'Go on a 4 hour booze cruise on Loch Ness'."

Or another good one:
R: "Now look at that loch to the left. Sometimes you'll see...pigeons...Pigeons?! I meant dolphins. Yeah. I guess there's pigeons, too."

"Backpacker tours" niche marketing yields interesting results.

Hairspray

So, I went to see Hairspray with some of the international students. Without giving too much of the "plot" away, let's just say that the movie is in typical Broadway-musical style in that it takes a serious topic and makes it all butterflies and sunshine; in this particular case, it's the topic of segregation.

After the movie, I had to explain that segregation was not all butterflies and sunshine to my fellow movie-goers. They seemed to think that the film was based on truth, but instead Broadway musicals gloss over reality. I spend a fair amount of time dispelling the myths about America and Americans. I'm beginning to need some back up.

This Weekend